Snow Joke

Well it looks like it's going to snow forever. The media would have us believe that this is by far the worst winter in one hundred years, or was it ten, or five. I don't know, because they keep on moving the goal posts, depending on how much they want to sensationalise the miracle of snow. The whole country has come to a virtual stand still. Schools have shut down, cars are left abandoned at the road side, Jesus has postponed his return. Jesus wouldn't even have a look in if he came back now. In my experience, as soon there is a few floating snowflakes outside, everyone runs like hell to see the modern miracle that is snow. I reckon if Jesus had just walked into an office, he would get knocked down in the rush to see the snow.

I went to tesco recently to get a loaf, and milk and the usual perishables but you know what, there was no bread. Someone, or everyone, had bought everything. The cold seems to force people into the sort of mind set that is akin to pre-nuclear war panic. Oh dear, we may never see the light of day again. This snow has forced us all into our underground bunkers. We may eventually have to eat each other if and when the food runs out!

I've heard this cold session will last just beyond the week; I've also heard it will last another week and a half. There's been some amount of bollocks spoken this week. My boiler is playing up and water is coming from the taps like the tears of a small child who weeps for a decent maintenance engineer.

You see, I've called upon the expertise of an engineer to fix my boiler on many an occasion, but I stupidly thought the boilder could be repaired without any hastle. I don't know who is the bigger twat, him for fucking up my boiler or me for thinking he could fix it first go. That said, my boiler has been in the flat since the neolithic age. I wonder if that's why they sent neanderthal man? What was it he said again, Right, mate, that's you fixed. Hmmm, what's that bloody dripping noise coming from the boiler that wasnt' there before you started hitting it with a fucking bone?!!! Don't trust these clowns!

Anyway, I'm going to Farmfoods to see if the apocolypse has had an effect on their frozen meat.

New Year Same Old Shite!

Well that's it for another lifetime. 2009 came and went quicker than a premature wank session. I don't know about you, but I felt it was a bit samey. I think this 2010 will be just like the film with lots of arseholes floating around not really in touch with reality. Let's be honest, it's going to be neds/chavs/whatever out of their heads on mind-bending drugs experiencing life as only a vacuum headed prick can. Avoid these people, we'll call them people for the sake of conversation, like the fucking plague or just like the ordinary Swine Flu which seems to have died a death. Remember when we were going to experience another potential epidemic, a worldwide catasrophe? Did it happen? Did it shite! Most of the people dying of swine flu had an "underlying illness". She died of flu during childbirth. He died of flu after getting hit by a fucking bus. She died of swine flu after her head was cut of and sent to her husband for ransom.
I'm going for a drink.....

I've just finished watching Dr. Who, the last one ever with David Tennant. My friend, who is a girl, watched it also. We agree that the last 10-15mins where "what the fuck!".