BGT (Britains Gone Titsup!)

Yes, my oh my, I've been watching a bit of BGT as it's often been tweeted on twitter. What the shite is wrong with people? Last night, or whenever it was, a young sexy, attractive, seductive belly dancer - granted she didn't move her belly about much this time - was thrown right off the show but, tonight a fat man and his big titted son (no offence) got through to the final on Saturday. Jesus H Samuels. You can picture that young lady - hold on and I'll Google her to find her name.....Julia Naidenko a name that just slips off your tongue (if only) - dancing all over your naked body. Well, I can picture her dancing all over mine, naked, the pair of us. I'm only wearing a smile. She does that bellydancing thing and gets lower and lower over my body until finally, whoops, her hair is all caught up in my helmet and 4skin.
I'm panicking, because a hair under your 4skin ain't funny so a whole head of hair is deadly, she's panicking, I'm cuming...I've cum. Then Simon Cowal presses his buzzer and smugly looks to the audience and says something condescendingly shit.

Britain's Forgot Talent

Yo there etc. I've just been watching Britain's Got Talent and I must admit I bloody enjoyed it. There are some people out there who do have a talent, whether it be drumming at age 12 or having your short fiancee throw a ball onto your stomach smashing a plate. There is, indeed a certain amount of entertainment about the show. I would like to see someone in their 60s come on, shit into a bucket of ice and then throw shit darts at the audience to a background track of Hit Me Baby One More Time. I bet it would get a standing ovation anyway.
There was a gorgeous belly dancer on and I found it hard to keep my excitement down to a minimum, but that Simon Cowal fella, not him, now way, he smirks until his teeth blind the audience. After rendering them blind he sneeks onto the stage and sticks one right up the girl. In the mouth too. They all get their sight back and think it's part of the show. He's a bloody "HYPNOTITS" that's what he is.
Anyway, I look forward to tomorrow's edition when Mr. Cowal smiles and shags that big backward guy from Scotland, Susan Boyle.

Tired

I'm getting tired real easy these days. In fact, I'm probably in a coma as I write this, typing away on an imaginary keyboard. I could probably type anything I want because of the overwhelming tiredness. I don't care right now. Tiredness makes you do crazy things...your honour. I'm opening my mouth slightly and letting a droplet of spit drop slowly down..and then quickly suck it back up again. Tired. Just think, one of these days I'll be off to sleep and never wake up again. Hopefully I'll be about ninety-eight or something. Or even in a spaceship orbitting some new planet populated with sex mad aliens with eight tits and two vaginas. Yummmmm, eight tits!
Anyway, I'm off for a bit of forty wanks, I mean winks. Laters people.
No, wait a minute, just a few words about the MPs pish on TV and that...they're all greedy cunts!
Bye.

1ST BLOG

This is my first blog so it's probably going to stink. It's 22:50 (my time) and I'm tired. Night night. Haven't done much. I performed major heart surgery on someone who didn't want it. Ungreatful twat. Don't go down a dark alleyway then staggering around as if you need surgery. I asked you if you needed help, you said no. I'm not the greatest person at taking hints, nor am I very good at sarcasm.
I suppose then, on reflection, it has been quite a good day. I must stop lying to myself. This is enough to be getting on with anyway. My brain is now clear.